Lar Writes Things

Running, Running As Fast as I Can

I am not a runner. In fact, I hate it. I have large breasts and knocked knees that make it all the more difficult. And it’s so boring which is my main issue with running.

However, I committed to running a 5K with a very close friend and I’m determined to do it. As much as I hate running, I dislike not fitting into my clothes more which is what led me to start running at age 29. I want to be in better shape. I want to be healthier. Most importantly, I want to prove to my high school gym teacher that I can do it. But really, I do want to fit into my fave pre-pregnancy jeans. Keep in mind my youngest is going on 2.

I was the girl always walking along the track timing my mile, while the fit popular girls ran by saying, “OMG just run. It’s so fun!” No, it’s not. You do you.

The burning I felt in my lungs in my first attempt at a mile was very unfamiliar and quite honestly suffocating. This led me to believe that I never really ran in adulthood or even in my youth. Basically, I’m lazy.

My first mile took me 14 minutes of on and off running. I mainly walked, but I did it quickly, the walking I mean. I also felt like I might die after which is only a slight exaggeration.

Now that I have actually been pushing myself and I know I can run, I can do a mile in 10 minutes. I can run a half mile without stopping and power walk the rest. My next goal is to run 3/4 of a mile without stopping and complete 1.5 miles during every run. I am by no mean going quickly, but just keeping a comfortable pace. I can speak while I’m running but it is a struggle.

Still, I’m proud of myself. I’ll update my progress and hopefully soon my favorite jeans (which do button) will close without hurting and I’ll keep up with my crazy kids even better.


A Change Would Do You Good


We start kindergarten this year. And I can’t believe it. Where have these five years gone? Why did it happen so fast? Why did I spend so much of it not appreciating it all? Have I really not slept a full night in five years? All of these thoughts fly through my head on a daily basis.

I’m a worrier. And I overthink everything. It’s who I am.

My first baby, my son was the tester and the aforementioned child leaving me for the world of elementary school. He was my tester baby because when I had him, I was kind of baby myself. Not in age because someone who is almost 24 is totally an adult but in maturity. I had no idea what I was doing and I was exhausted.

If you’re bad with change, babies really aren’t the way to go. They’re constantly changing. They change from blobs to rollers to walkers to runners to things that resemble monsters talking back to you. It’s rough. But they’re always super cute.

My life had been more or less a constant. I lived in the same city from kindergarten until I left for college. I get comfortable somewhere and I stay there. Which is another problem within itself….but I’m sure we’ll explore that later.

But back to the point…kindergarten.

I’m having a hard time letting go. All the lazy mornings. Middle of the day adventures. So many storytimes and countless trips to the park, they all run into each other.

Every day was so different, but they were all the same. And now it’s all over. He’ll spend his days in a much more structured environment with friends learning. It will be good for him…and me. He is the most social kid ever and won’t have any problems. I’ll be a mess. It happened too soon.

I had him alone for 3.5 years. He was and will always be my person. We’re too alike for our own good and argue every day. He has my stubborn personality and I’m amazed at his sneakiness and precociousness…just like me when I was a kid. Little stinker.

Kindergarten. Here we come.

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